Q. Over the last year or so, my erectile function has gone downhill rapidly. I’m in a monogamous relationship with a longtime girlfriend, and I’m sure she’s noticed the changes in me, but I’m finding it difficult to discuss the matter with her. Does it make sense for me to man up and confront the elephant in the room?
A. By all means, you should talk to your partner about your erection problems. She almost certainly is as aware as you are of your problems getting and keeping an erection. If you don’t discuss it frankly and explain that it’s not your lack of desire but a physiological problem that’s at the root of your problem, she may mistakenly believe that you no longer find her sexually exciting. Enlisting the help of your intimate partner can also help you fight the problem.
When you are having difficulty getting an erection, she can supply the needed stimulation — manually or orally — to help you achieve as full an erection as possible. If the problem has gone beyond the ability to you and your girlfriend to overcome it, you can both discuss the use of ED drugs and how that might resolve matters.
She’ll need to know that you can’t be quite as spontaneous as you might have been in the past and will need to pop a pill 30 to 60 minutes before you’re able to perform sexually.