ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION QUESTION:
Throughout the first couple years of high school I’ve been experiencing problems keeping an erection. My first sexual experience was at the first party in the 10th grade. I got decently drunk throughout the night and my girlfriend and I snuck away and she wanted to do stuff but I couldn’t get an erection. I blamed it on “whiskey dick” but we broke up soon after before trying anything else for unrelated reasons. After that about a month later it happened again when I was sober,I got an erection and when we were about to take things further it went away. After that I was too embarrased to try anything with any girl again so I kinda just avoided taking things further with girls because I didn’t want to get embarrased again. Eventually I got over it and tried again several times. What happens is I can get an erection, but usually I’ll have to make the first move to take things further so while I’m doing stuff for the girl I sometimes lose the erection and it wont come back. Other times if im grabbing a condom it will go away or just randomly it will stop working. Recently I’ve had no trouble getting an erection just it goes away before I can do anything sexually. I don’t know why, I’ve researched and I know its not something physical because I’m able to finish and keep an erection during masturbation and I often get them when I’m with girls just never seems to work out. I’m very confident in my body and in my looks, and I’m not nervous about having sex so I didn’t feel it was performance anxiety. I’m content with my penis size too so I don’t understand what’s holding me back. I’m generally a typical “horny teenage boy” in that I’m often in the mood but once I lose an erection I lose my want to have sex and I just get sad or angry. I’ve stopped watching porn all together cause I thought maybe it had something to do with that and I masturbate less to see if that could help somehow but nothing seems to work. I tried listening to a guided relaxation video every other day and it definitely made me feel a lot more calm but it didn’t help with my situation. I’m 17 6’2 195 and in good shape I drink once a week or less and I dont smoke or use nicotine. I understand that I’m young but I feel like I’m ready and want to have sex I’ve been successful keeping an erection a few times but I’m around 2/10 and I haven’t fully had sex just oral. It’s hard to hear your friends talk about it and to see how easy it is for them and I don’t want to avoid those situations but its happened with 5 different girls and it’s very embarrassing. Thankfully most of them understand but I dont want it to happen again and start going around. I just want help and everywhere I’ve looked and everything I’ve tried hasnt worked. I dont want to bring it up with my family doctor or my parents because its a very uncomfortable thing to talk about. Hopefully theres something I’m missing cause I dont know what else to try.
Thanks,
Austin
DOCTOR ALSAYES ANSWER:
Hello Austin
The key to deal with this situation is to identify the cause and to treat it accordingly.
Erectile dysfunction has many factors and underlying causes, as you probably know, such as; Anxiety, diabetes, high blood pressure, alcoholism and smoking tobacco, acute stress disorder,…etc.
For the best treatment option, we need to identify the cause of your erectile dysfunction.
A psychological aspect can also be a reason, and it might be in form of anxiety or pressure to perform under heightened anxiety, or acute stress disorder, or Low sex drive due to the underlying cause (as a bad memory from a previous relationship). And even if you think it’s not the cause in your case – just based on reading your story – I beg to differ and I wouldn’t exclude that as a possible cause.
We must first address that problem.
Some people my advice you to use ED oral medications (such as Viagra), and it may help or not, but trust me that’s not the way to solve this issue, you should feel totally fine talking about to your doctor and finding the reason behind it first.
I’d suggest you speak to your urologist, first for some tests and a complete evaluation of your health and identifying the underlying cause for your issue, and then to determine the best treatment option.
I hope this helps you.
Thanks,
Dr. Alsayes